Fox, Maid, and Swallow
by Zero Phantasm
Summary: Also a mild cross with Air Gear and rated for future content. A tale in which a certain knucklehead wasn't born in a world of Shinobi, but in a peaceful world where he leads a normal life... With a student council president that works at a Maid Cafe, a mischievous girlfriend, and motorized roller blades. Yeah, definitely a normal life. (Not too serious of a story.)


**A/N: Welp, here it is. A gift fic for my best bud and Nanaya Bro. Sorry it's so late, dude.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Maid-sama, or Air Gear. They all belong to their respective owners. I'm not making any money offa' this fanfic, either.**

* * *

Chapter 1: Typical Tuesday

* * *

Seika High… A school that-up until a few years ago-had been an All-Boys School. However, despite the amount of time that has passed since it became Co-ed, the student body was still roughly 80% male. And unfortunately for the other 20% of the student body, the majority was still so used to having the run of the place-with a good number being unwilling to change such a view-that things tended to get out of hand… Quite frequently, at that. However, there were forces in the school that were trying to quell the problems and make the school much more tolerable.

… Granted, these forces each had very differing reasons. As exemplified by the one young man who could be found standing in the courtyard of the school early in the morning, surrounded by several other male students who seemed rather irritated.

"Today's the last day of your crap, Uzumaki!" The apparent leader began, "We know you're in cahoots with that damn Student Council President! You should be helpin' us overthrow her reign of terror!"

The lone young man in the middle of the circle-sporting sun-kissed blonde hair and whisker-like marks on his cheeks-merely smirked in response, doing a few stretches before he finally replied.

"You really think I give a rat's ass? Especially coming from guys like you who are all bark and no bite." He snarked, smirk never leaving his features, "You all aren't even worth taking the time to lay out. Besides, I personally can't argue with her cause." At this point, a faint revving could be heard from the blonde's feet as a bit of dust began to get kicked up. A simple glance downwards would reveal the source of the noise: A pair of roller blades.

Or, to be more specific… Highly advanced motorized inline skates that have been quite the trend for several years now: Air Trecks.

"So you're still going to side with her?! Fine! Get him, guys!" The leader yelled out, followed by a rally cry from his followers that then proceeded to charge the blonde in the center… Who merely grinned before kicking off the ground.

Flipping over the ring of goons, the teen known as Uzumaki Naruto landed gracefully on the other side before beginning to skate away at a leisurely pace with a light laugh.

"Too slow~! You guys must be really dumb if you think I would be caught in something like that!" Naruto taunted as the other students realized that their target had escaped and proceeded to give chase.

It was a sight that was rather common for the less rash students of Seika High. While the Student Council President would try to reform the 'rogue' male students directly while sticking to the school rules and guidelines, Naruto took to a more… Indirect approach.

Namely, tiring the poor saps out so they couldn't fight it when said Student Council President caught them.

Occasionally, the blonde would slow down a bit to give his pursuers some hope of catching him… But he'd always be able to speed up and out of their reach just in time. Mocking them all the while.

"C'mon, c'mon! You guys really are all bark and no bite! My old man could last five times as long as you weaklings and still be able to keep going!" The blonde 'Storm Rider' exclaimed when he saw the last of the goons finally collapse from exhaustion, before chuckling to himself.

' _Too easy… Now, to just make it to class before the bell!'_ Nodding in satisfaction, Naruto began to pick up his pace, skating a lap around the entire school to really pick up speed. As he did, he offered a smile and wave to any of the other students that he passed that were finishing up morning duties.

Once he was back at the front of the school, however, the blonde proceeded to leap _at_ the outer wall of the school's front, using his built up momentum and his Air Trecks' motor to execute a vertical wall-ride that allowed him to reach an open window on the third floor of the school, grab its sill, and then flip himself into the building.

All in all, this was just another Tuesday for Naruto.

"Safe!" He cheered quietly upon landing in the hallway… Only to wince in pain not even a minute later when he felt a sharp tug on his right ear. "Ow!"

"I'd say you're more _Out_ than _Safe_ , Uzumaki." Came a chillingly-to Naruto right then, at least-familiar voice from the right. The blonde didn't even need a to glance over to know just who it was nor gauge how irritated she was right then.

"Oh, c'mon, Misaki-tan! I didn't break anything on my way up, and I even left a gift for you out on the courtyard! Those guys'll be out until third period with how hard I ran them around!" He tried to plead, but alas, the Student Council President-Ayuzawa Misaki-was hearing none of it. If anything, her ire seemed to grow at the informal means of addressing her the blonde insisted on using.

"Come along right now," Misaki began, starting to drag Naruto by the ear. "I'm taking you to the Guidance Counselor and hopefully they'll be able to straighten you out a bit while I take care of that 'gift' you left for me." She continued, not registering the faint 'pop' sound that came from right behind her.

"Yeah, that sounds fun and all," Naruto started, sounding surprisingly distant right then, "But I'm going to have to decline! I've gotta' get to class and pray I'm there before _she_ is!" Now at this point, Misaki finally opted to look back… And promptly noticed the detached fake ear in her hand, and the blonde Uzumaki beginning to skate away in the distance. From there, it didn't take long for her anger to begin boiling over.

"Argh, DAMN IT UZUMAKI!" With that angry shout that easily put many of the guys in the area on high alert, Misaki opted to take care of the worn-out goons out front before even attempting to deal with her biggest headache later…

All while ignoring the victorious laughter coming from said headache's direction to the best of her ability.

* * *

Much to Naruto's consternation, he hadn't been the first to arrive to the class between himself and _her._ The fact that the teacher had also yet to arrive didn't bode well for the blonde. Nor did the fact that the entire class-save for the obvious one-was watching in anticipation.

"Mou, Naruto… You kept me waiting here for soooo long…" The pink-haired bombshell known simply as Simca began, slowly making her way across the classroom and-once she was within range-snaking her arms around the blonde's neck, "I was starting to worry that you had forgotten about me~." She finished, before pulling Naruto closer and subjecting him to what could only be called "Marshmallow Hell".

And while some could also consider it "Marshmallow Heaven", that's neither here nor there.

"S-Simca, now's not the best time for this! Time and place, for crying out loud!" Naruto tried pleading, but all that came out was a muffled jumble thanks to the position Simca was holding him in. A fact she was clearly well aware of if the sultry smirk on her lips was any indication.

"You know, Naruto, I'm kinda' upset. I saw what you did out front earlier… And you didn't think to invite me?" She began, managing to sound deeply hurt while giving her best pout, letting Naruto have just enough room to pull away to see it… Before ruthlessly smothering him again.

A process that lasted a good four minutes-a feat with before Simca finally decided to give her dear boyfriend some mercy and let him go, allowing the now semi-conscious blonde to slump to the floor.

"You know, one of these days you're going to kill him that way." Came a male voice from behind the pair. Turning around, Simca was greeted by an amused looking blonde bishounen that was known school-wide: Usui Takumi. Simca merely smiled sunnily and waved off the statement.

"Nah, it's fine! My Naruto's a tough one; so tough that he wouldn't die, even if you killed him!" At this, the still semi-conscious blonde on the floor shakily rose one hand up for a thumbs-up, apparently affirming Simca's statement.

"I see… Well, just so long as that's the case." Usui replied, chuckling slightly as he saw the thumbs up shift to a middle finger from his fellow blonde before going and taking his seat once more. After a few moments, Simca allowed herself a sigh before looking down to Naruto with a bemused expression on her face.

"And just how long do you plan on staying like that, mister?" She asked, already knowing that her boyfriend had more than recovered from her earlier 'assault'.

"Eh, I dunno'. It's pretty comfortable down here. View's nice, too." Came Naruto's response, earning a laugh from Simca and a gentle accusatory "Perv." before she moved to go take her own seat. Heaving a mock sigh of disappointment, Naruto quickly hopped to his feet and took his own seat next to Simca's just as the teacher walked in and class began…

* * *

Lunchtime couldn't have come sooner, if one were to ask Naruto. Hence why the minute the lunch bell rang, the blonde hoisted Simca into a bridal carry before taking off for the school's roof as fast as he could. Upon arrival, he gently set the rosette down on a way-too-conveniently placed picnic blanket before taking off once more…

… And returning not even a full three minutes later with a bento in one hand, and a rather large, steaming bowl of ramen balanced upon the other.

"Here you go, Simca. I made sure to make your favorites today, so please, enjoy yourself." The blonde stated in the best 'gentlemanly' manner he could manage as he handed over the bento, before taking a seat next to her on the blanket and breaking apart a pair of chopsticks.

However, before either of them could take a bite, the door leading back inside slammed open, revealing an irate-yet oddly victorious-looking Misaki.

"I've got you this time, Uzumaki! There's no way you can escape punishment for-" A beat as she saw the food in both teens' hands. "... Having lunch..?" She finished lamely.

"Yeah, _kaichou,_ " Naruto began, somehow managing to make the title sound rather demeaning right then. "We're just having lunch up here. Nothing bad going on, 'ttebayo." He finished, and at this, Misaki had the decency to look sheepish.

"A-ah… My apologies, Uzumaki. I had heard that you were seen carrying a girl up to the roof and I thought…" She trailed off, before noticing just who the girl in question was… And a _chill_ ran down her spine. 'Of all the people I'd have to deal with, why did it have to be _her?!'_ A beat. 'Oh, right… Because I'm also dealing with Uzumaki.'

Let it be known that-not for the first time in the school year-Misaki really, _really_ wanted to strangle Naruto for who he chose to ask to be his girlfriend. Because if there was one person she really couldn't deal with effectively… It was Simca "The Swallow".

"My, my, Misaki-kaichou, I didn't know you were chasing after my Naruto so feverently~." The pink-haired 'storm rider' began, a flirtatious smile playing on her lips as she got up and slowly sauntered over to Misaki, who was practically frozen like a deer in headlights. "Should I feel worried? Or perhaps, jealous?"

Naruto-in the meantime-just opted to enjoy his ramen. As much fun as Simca could be, and as much as he loved her, there was _no way_ he was going to get caught in the middle of what was about to transpire. Especially when there was the Food of the Gods(™) to be enjoyed.

"N-no! I'm not chasing after him!" Misaki protested as Simca continued to approach, slowly but surely invading her personal bubble. "Well, I mean… I _am_ … B-but only because he's a delinquent that's breaking the rules!" At this point, Misaki froze up entirely as she felt Simca wrap her arms around her in a gentle embrace that at the same time felt oddly unbreakable.

"Oh, really now?" Simca began, resting her head lightly on Misaki's shoulder, still smiling that flirtatious smile of hers. "There's no rule in the school guidelines about Air Trecks, and last I heard, Naruto was doing you a service and making your job easier~." She finished, before lightly blowing on Misaki's ear, delighting in just how much the girl stiffened up in her embrace and how utterly _red_ she turned.

'Don't say anything, Naruto. Don't even make any abrupt movements. You know Simca's partially bullshitting her way through this right now, so just focus on the ramen… Just focus on the ramen...' Naruto silently repeated to himself in a manner not unlike a mantra, not wanting to get caught up in this particular antic.

The school guidelines didn't specify Air Trecks specifically, but rollerblades were addressed and forbidden to be used inside the school…A rule Naruto did ignore quite frequently. Not to mention his usual 'escape artist' routine whenever Misaki DID get her hands on him, and the blonde had built up quite the list of violations.

"Plus… If you really are just trying to get my dear, sweet Naruto to turn himself in, why do you have _these?_ " Simca pressed on, finally pulling a pair of handcuffs from one of Misaki's blazer's pockets. Sadly, the poor student council president was still frozen up, leaving the 'reaction shot duty' to the only other person present.

The sound of coughing and choking soon came from Naruto's direction as he had glimpsed what Simca had pulled out, all while sporting a mouthful of noodles. And while he thankfully avoided pulling a spit-take, that left only one other alternative, and that was choking on the said noodles.

"Gah! W-what the hell?!" He finally managed to get out after a moment of pounding on his chest and trying to clear his throat. "H-handcuffs?! Seriously?!" He yelped, now actually blushing a bit himself. That definitely seemed a bit excessive!

Seeing that she had successfully managed to embarrass both her boyfriend and the student council president in one fell swoop, Simca smiled proudly before returning to where she had been sitting before, and beginning to eat her lunch.

All the while both Naruto and Misaki struggled to process everything that just happened, as well as get over their respective levels of embarrassment.

* * *

Thankfully for both Naruto and Misaki, the rest of the school day passed without more embarrassment courtesy of Simca. Which left the resident pair of 'troublemakers' with nothing to do but roam the streets until it was time to return home. Thus, it should come as no surprise that the pair would find themselves in a different neighborhood from their wandering, merely conversing as they skated through the streets.

"You know, this is going to sound crazy, but I actually kind of miss those Skull Saders guys." Came Naruto's remark, earning a surprised look from Simca as she grinded a nearby rail, leading ahead of the blonde.

"Really? Why? They were nothing but trouble and we were the only ones to-" A beat. "Ah, so that's why…" Simca trailed off, realization hitting her halfway through her questioning. Naruto merely nodded in response as the pair dismounted the rail, and slowed their pace to proceed through a nearby alleyway.

"Yeah. As much of a pain in the ass as they were, they were still something exciting to handle. Nowadays, things just seem really… Boring, y'know?" At seeing Simca's nod, Naruto allowed himself to turn around in mid-stride and get a bit more animated in his expression.

"Yeah! That's the reason I give those guys a runaround at school every morning! It feels like things have just gotten too boring around here, and something needs to happen soon!" He exclaimed, and-as if his words were a prayer heard by Kami himself-found himself soon after tripping and falling face first-after an impressive spin- _not_ onto the ground… But another person.

"Oh my!" Simca uttered in surprise upon seeing just who it was that had become her boyfriend's landing pad… Before a devious glint entered her eyes.

"Ngh… What the hell happened…?" Naruto muttered, a bit dazed from the fall… Only to pale drastically when he felt a distinct softness against the palm of his right hand. 'Oh crap.' A look downward would make him pale even further. 'Oh _crap!'_

… Because glaring up at him with a red face and tears of humiliation in her eyes was none other than the student council president herself: Ayuzawa Misaki, clad in a rather nice-looking maid uniform.

"U-Uzumaki, you damned… PERVERT!"

"WHOA?!"

It was on that day that the lives of these three would forever be changed… And that Naruto learned a very valuable lesson: A angry Misaki is a Misaki capable of literally throwing him against a wall and pinning him there with a kick.

* * *

Chapter 1: Typical Tuesday … END

* * *

 **A/N: Shout-out to my Nanaya bro, Satsujinki Nanaya for being such a great friend and a patient mofo with me for being so late with this gift fic. Next update coming? Gal*Gunvolt Chapter 2.**


End file.
